Tragedies of a failed marriage are broken promises, bitter ex-spouses, and confused children. Don’t let this be the story for your marriage.
Whether your marriage is going through challenging times or experiencing marital bliss, or even you are not married but are considering it, the bible offers practical and proven tips to help your marriage last.
The bible gives advice from God, the one who created and ordained the union of marriage. So what are the keys to a happier marriage?
1. Continue your courtship
“Above all things have earnest love for each other for love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8)
“Be kindly affectionate towards each other…. In honor giving preference to one another” (Romans 12:10)
Continue or revive your courtship even after you are married. Successful marriages are not automatic. They must be nurtured and developed. Ensure that you don’t take your spouse for granted. Keep expressing your love for one another every day to keep it growing. Love and happiness aren’t found by seeking them for yourself instead by giving them to others.
Spend as much time with each other as possible. Don’t disregard simple things as greeting each other every day and asking how the other is doing. Encouraging one another and affectionate acts towards each other are actual signs of love and care.
You can also try to gift each other like on anniversaries, birthdays or just gifts of appreciation. Take walks, go sightseeing, and spend valuable time with family and each other. Give more than you are receiving out of marriage because lack of love in a marriage is the biggest destroyer of marriages.
2. Guard your thoughts and avoid temptation
The sixth commandment says, “Thou shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14)
“You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife” (Exodus 20:17)
“As he thinks in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7)
“Above all else guard your heart for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23)
The wrong kind of thinking can harm your marriage, and the devil can tempt you. Every action you do when in marriage can hurt the other person, and it all starts with the thoughts you may have. Your thoughts govern your actions. Such actions may be committing adultery or fornication, which can hurt your spouse and create mistrust in the marriage. You can read more on fornication from Never Thirsty.
It’s advisable to avoid hearing, watching, or associating with people who may encourage you to be unfaithful. Uncontrolled thoughts are like a car left at the top of a hill in neutral; you can imagine the disastrous results.
Even though the devil may want to come between the two of you by tempting you to be unfaithful or to give up, remember that God joined you in marriage, and He desires that you stay together and happy.
3. Never go to bed angry with your spouse.
“Do not let the sun set while you are still angry” (Ephesians 4:26)
“Confess your faults to each other and pray for one another that ye may be healed” (James 5:16)
“Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgive each other just as Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32)
Being angry and keeping hurt and grievances in your heart can be dangerous, whether big or small. Unless you address these issues promptly, even the petty issues can become set in your mind as convictions and can negatively affect your outlook on life. It makes you bitter, and even you find yourself getting angry with the smallest of issues. Ensure that you discuss all the problems you have in your heart and solve them. If possible, you can seek the guidance of a therapist or your pastor.
God said, let your anger cool before going to bed. So take the initiative and learn to forgive or say, “I am sorry” after all, no one is perfect. When you make a mistake or make your spouse angry, be gracious enough to admit besides making up is a pleasant experience with the power to draw couples even closer together.
4. Pray together and keep Christ in the center of your home
“Watch and pray so that you don’t sink into temptations. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Mathew 26:41)
“Unless the Lord creates the house, the builder’s work in vain” (Psalms 127:1)
“In all your doings acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:6)
“And the peace of God which exceeds all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7)
Pray together as a family, as this will strengthen and make your marriage successful. Kneel before God and ask for wisdom, guidance, strength, forgiveness, and the solution to your problems. You will not automatically cure all your faults, but God has greater access to change your actions and your heart.
5. Criticism and nagging may destroy your marriage.
“Husbands love your wives and don’t be bitter towards them” (Colossians 3:19)
“Better to live in the wilderness than with a quarrelsome and angry woman” (Proverbs 21:19)
“Why do you point at the speck in your brother’s eye but do not consider the plank in your own eye?” (Mathew 7:3)
“Love suffers long; love is kind, love doesn’t envy, love doesn’t parade itself” (1 Corinthians 13:4)
Please stop criticizing, nagging, and finding fault with your spouse. Having unrealistic expectations will bring bitterness to your marriage. Learn to accept your partner’s flaws instead of highlighting them.
A sense of humor, kindness, a cheerful heart, and affection is key to a happier marriage. Try to make your partner happy rather than changing them; the flaws will likely take care of themselves. The secrets to a successful marriage are not having the perfect partner but being the right partner.
Continue loving each other in the marriage. Don’t forget always to appreciate your partner, be faithful, don’t sleep without solving problems, pray, and don’t criticize them. If you follow God’s word, then you have the keys to a successful and happier marriage.
