Dating apps were supposed to make things easier. Instead, they’ve created a swamp of mixed signals, ghosting, and conversations that die faster than a houseplant you forgot to water. People want something, but nobody knows what to call it. This is a guide for dealing with other humans in this mess.
Get Your Profile Straight: Honesty from Swipe One
Your dating profile isn’t a list of your achievements. It’s a signal. The photos and bio you pick show people what you’re about. Stop using that group photo from five years ago. Use clear, recent pictures that show your real life. Your bio should match. If you want something low-key, say that. Phrases like “seeing what happens” or “new to the area and looking to meet people” work fine.
The opening message matters. “Hey” is lazy and gets you nowhere. Look at their profile for one minute and mention something… anything. It’s not that hard. It starts a real chat instead of a boring interview. Now, about being upfront. You need to say what you want early on. It saves everyone time and feelings. If you’re just looking for online hookups or something deep, saying so before you even meet is the only decent way to go. You don’t have to be crude about it, just clear. It filters out bad matches immediately.
The Jump Offline: First Dates & Follow-Ups
So you’ve moved from texting to an actual date. Keep it simple. A first meeting should be low pressure. Think coffee or a walk. A huge, expensive dinner is just awkward if there’s no chemistry. It sets the wrong tone. You’re trying to see if you get along, not audition for a life partner.
And the old rules are dead. Don’t wait three days to text. That’s just playing games. If you had a good time tell them that same day. If you didn’t, be an adult and send a polite “it was nice meeting you, but I don’t think we’re a match” message. And when you meet, basic safety tips for meeting people online are just common sense… let a friend know your plans. It’s not paranoid, it’s smart.
What Are We? Talking Straight in the Gray Zone
Welcome to the “situationship”. This is where most people get tripped up. Ghosting is the easy way out, it’s also cowardly. Suddenly disappearing shows a total lack of respect. Send a text. A simple, two-sentence message giving closure is all it takes. Anything less is just weak.
Then there’s communication. Don’t text someone all day, every day if you’re “keeping it casual.” That creates a false sense of seriousness that will blow up later. Be consistent but not intense. And yes, you might need to talk about seeing other people. It can be an odd chat, but being honest about it stops drama before it starts. Assuming you’re exclusive when you’re not is a recipe for disaster.
How to End It (Or Not) Without Being a Jerk
Every connection either changes or it ends. Pay attention to the signs. If the texts feel like a chore or you’re dodging plans, it’s probably over. Don’t just let it fizzle into an awkward silence. Have the guts to end it cleanly.
Even if it wasn’t a “real relationship,” it deserves a real ending. Give the other person a clean break. It respects the time you spent together and gives both of you a clear path for processing the split and moving forward. And if you’re the one who caught feelings? You have to say something. Be honest that you want more. Just be ready for them to say no. That’s the risk. At least you’ll know where you stand instead of guessing.
So, the new rules are simple. Honesty. Respect. Clear talk. Casual doesn’t mean you can be careless with other peoples time or feelings. Stop making it weird.
