Creating a truly brilliant parody is like trying to catch the proverbial lightning in a bottle. Get it right, and you have a knowing, outrageous, but often affectionate comedy retelling of a familiar story, such as Scary Movie (2000). Get it wrong… and you end up with Scary Movie 2 (2001).
Titanic (1997) has been parodied endlessly since its release, but Marla Mindelle, Constantine Rousouli, and (co-author and also director) Tye Blue’s Titanique, tonight in a gala performance in partnership with Pride in London, overcomes the audience’s familiarity with the film by turning up the volume, the glamour, and the camp. The audience file in to find a wonderful sailor hat on each seat, and the majority gamely wear their new headgear throughout.
A tour guide takes a small party around a museum dedicated to the ill-fated Titanic, when Celine Dion herself appears in a gloriously sequinned dress, claiming to have sailed on the ship, and by extension claiming to be 150 years old.
Dion promises to tell the story of what really happened on that fateful maiden voyage, as the tour party transform into carefree cat artist Jack Dawson and Rose DeWitt Bukkake. Rose is travelling in first class with her Grindr-registered fiancé Cal, and her mother Ruth, who is disgusted at having to wear pearls from TK Maxx. We’re also introduced to the Unsinkable Molly Brown, or Kathy Bates as she is often referred to, and Victor Garber, an amalgam of Titanic’s shipbuilder Thomas Andrews (played by the real Victor Garber in the 1997 film), and Captain Edward John Smith.
The story progresses much as we know it, punctuated by Celine Dion’s interjections and songs, accompanied by a four-piece band at the back of the stage. Depressed at the thought of marrying Cal, Rose decides to jump from the ship. She is saved by Jack, and the two strike up a relationship, which culminates in Rose demanding that he paints her “like one of your French girls”.
Celine Dion makes sure she is very much the star of the show, shamelessly upstaging the rest of the cast and often intervening at crucial moments in the plot. Lauren Drew gives a fantastic comedic performance of flamboyant gestures, facial quirks and pithy one-liners, but also has a monumentally powerful voice when singing Dion’s songs. Drew’s attempt at Dion’s French-Canadian accent is magnificent, but we are watching during Wimbledon Fortnight, with the happy result that her voice often reminds you of any number of European tennis players.
Luke Bayer is full of livewire energy as Jack and is adored by the audience, even if his fellow cast members do occasionally describe him teasingly as an “ageing twink” and “singer first, dancer second”. He has great chemistry with Hiba Elchikhe’s gutsy Rose. Richard Carson fairly oozes around the stage as Cal, bringing huge charisma to a truly detestable character. There’s a distinct twinkle in Carson’s eye and he’s clearly having great fun.
Carl Mullaney plays Ruth, Rose’s mother, with a spectacular hat made of two doves, and of course her TK Maxx pearls. Carl is endlessly entertaining with splenetic rants at Rose, and switching accents for maximum comic impact. There’s more than a little of the panto dame in Carl’s performance, but Widow Twankey never behaved like this!
Darren Bennett’s Victor Garber becomes more delightfully unhinged as the show progresses, cheerfully agreeing to Cal’s request to get Titanic to New York by Tuesday because he has “a hair appointment in Soho, and they book way out”. He also gamely doubles up as Jack’s Italian friend Luigi, complete with the computer game character’s distinctive green hat, but this running joke falls by the wayside early, in a show packed with similar gags.
Meanwhile Charlotte Wakefield’s Molly Brown (and sometimes Kathy Bates) is a strong supporting presence throughout the show, providing exposition, a friendly ear to most of the characters, and a rousing rendition of All By Myself in the second half.
With an interval that consists only of a five second blackout and a knowing wink from Dion, the pace and mayhem pick up even further in the second half as the iceberg hits. Tosh Wanogho-Maud, who has not had quite enough to do so far as The Seaman (aside from duetting with Celine Dion on a wonderful Beauty and the Beast), comes into his element as The Iceberg, stealing the limelight even from Celine herself with a fantastic Tina Turner wig and a show-stopping rendition of River Deep – Mountain High.
With The Iceberg demanding that the cast lip-sync for their lives, things take a distinctly Drag Race turn for a while, before returning to the plot of the film, and that fateful and controversial door floating on the ocean. Even though the story as we know it is over, Celine Dion still has one or two unlikely twists to deliver as she begins “to sing. Very well.”
Although Celine is the self-declared star of the show, and goes out of her way to steal the limelight whenever possible, Titanique is in reality a true ensemble cast, with every performer getting their chance to shine. Dion even introduces her backing singers: Adrianne Langley, Madison Swan, and Rodney Vubya, as well as the band: Adam Wachter, Cerys McKenna, Huw Davies, and Alessandro Lombardo. Davies even gets introduced as “my good friend Bon Jovi” for one memorable guitar solo.
The script is packed with gags, physical comedy, audience interaction, and cultural references – inevitably some land harder than others, but the sheer machine gun rate of jokes means that the audience is almost constantly laughing or applauding.
The comedy performances are full of great deliveries, and sharp timing, and the singing is top notch throughout, under the musical supervision of Nicholas James Connell. Designers Gabriel Hainer Evahsohn and Grace Laubacher have put together a fantastically versatile set, which Celine Dion gleefully describes as “the set from Anything Goes”.
Closing with a rousing celebration of Pride, and of course a certain well known Celine Dion song, Titanique is a gloriously madcap, camp confection of a show. An interval would have been appreciated, but the producers have clearly decided to run straight through in favour of maintaining the show’s energy and momentum.
Titanique is playing at the Criterion Theatre, currently booking until 4 January 2026.
Get your tickets at titaniquemusical.com
Words by Andrew Lawston
Photography Mark Senior
