Beauty & the Beast – A Horny Love Story at Charing Cross Theatre is very much an adults-only pantomime. Oh yes it is! It’s an adult panto that actually lands – gleefully lewd, proudly queer, and built for belly laughs.
Written by Jon Bradfield and Martin Hooper (part of the He’s Behind You team), with songs by Bradfield and direction by Andrew Beckett, the creative team leans into panto’s big heart and joyful chaos while swapping double entendres for single, unmistakable ones. The result is a high-energy night that delivers the traditional pantomime comforts – audience singalongs, groan-worthy puns, slapstick chases, and fourth-wall mischief – through a decidedly 18+ lens.
This is the team’s third adult panto (see our review for last year’s show here), and they know exactly who they’re playing to. Yes, the show is aimed primarily at a gay audience, but its generous spirit and slick execution mean there’s plenty here for the not-gay-but-game-for-a-laugh crowd too. A burst of musical theatre references lands as a love letter to West End nerds, and the writing consistently balances saucy with silly.
Matthew Baldwin’s Dame, Flora, is central to the comedy and rightly steals the show. Baldwin serves high camp at high speed, tossing out punchlines with the ease of the consummate professional he is. The Fairy Godmother, played by Australian Dani Mirels, arrives with Sydney Opera House shoulder pads, an amusing visual gag that neatly signals the show’s taste for big, cheeky design flourishes. As romantic lead Bertie, Matt Kennedy brings appealing warmth, clean vocals, natural charm, and deft comic timing.
Across the company, the energy is formidable. Acting, singing, and dancing land at consistently high standards, and the ensemble earn their laughs and applause with frequent, well-managed costume and character changes. ‘On the Oil Rig’ emerges as a standout ensemble number – tight, witty, and musically satisfying, with strong choreography to boot. Other songs sneak in recognisable musical motifs from pop alongside original tunes, pairing them with deliciously inappropriate lyrics to great effect.
Structurally, the pantomime keeps a confident balance between song and dialogue, and even dips into traditional rhyming verse via the Fairy Godmother, scratching the classic panto itch without feeling outdated. The fourth-wall breaking is frequent but not forced. Audience participation feels inclusive, and the call-and-response sequences are judged well for an adult house. Our villain, Cornelius, played dastardly well by Chris Lane, is a treat. A chase scene does exactly what it should, and the running gags build momentum as the night progresses.
The Scottish setting pays off both visually and comedically. There’s fun to be had in the accents, and the castle backdrop suits the Beast’s domain, lending fairy-tale scale within the stage’s compact footprint. Charing Cross Theatre is small by West End standards and prone to the odd rumble from a train overhead, yet the production values here are impressively high. Thoughtful set pieces, slick scene changes as we hop from shop to castle to boat, and a visual story that extends through costuming and props all speak to a team unwilling to let budget be an excuse.
Beckett’s direction keeps the pace buoyant, with the ensemble’s song-and-dance work and the Dame’s patter sequences providing regular surges of momentum. Even when the jokes go close to the bone (pun intended), the show maintains a generous, good-humoured tone. If you prefer your panto clean and family-friendly, this is not for you. However, if you love glitter, gags, and group singalongs without kids shrieking through the lot, it’s a gift.
It’s worth noting how well the writing understands the room. Adult panto can easily descend into crude-for-crude’s-sake, but here innuendo is a means to laughter, not necessarily an end in itself. The show also avoids overstuffing the book, allowing time for the characters to breathe. They’re all, as you might imagine, gloriously queer, with Bonnie (a strong performance from Laura Anna-Mead) finding her love match, the Beast finding his Beauty, and the Dame, Flora, juggling multiple suitors. It’s treated as pure panto fun – sweet, silly, and warmly received – so the romances land as well as the gags.
All told, this is a confident, colourful twist on tradition that prioritises fun and wins over the audience through sheer craft and charm. Not for children – really not – but a roaringly good night for adults who love the panto form and are happy for it to wear its naughtiness on its sleeve.
Beauty & the Beast – A Horny Love Story is playing at Charing Cross Theatre until 11 January 2026.
Book tickets now at charingcrosstheatre.co.uk
Words by Helen Keegan
