“He’s behind you!” “Oh no he isn’t!” Traditional panto may have its fair share of cheeky jokes and camp fun, but Jack and the Beanstalk: What a Whopper! cranks it up to eleven. This is pantomime as you’ve never seen it before – gloriously filthy, outrageously queer, absolutely hilarious and certainly not one for the kids!
Running at the Charing Cross Theatre, What a Whopper! is written by Jon Bradfield and Martin Hooper, with original songs by Bradfield and direction by Andrew Beckett. Following the success of last year’s Sleeping Beauty Takes A Prick!, this year’s adult panto proves that the team’s brand of big-hearted, hilarious smut is here to stay. It’s a celebration of LGBTQIA+ culture and comedy, packed with gags, in-your-endos, and some pretty graphic jokes about gay sex – so if you’re easily offended, this one might not be for you (and you probably wouldn’t have read this far anyway)! However, if you’re part of the LGBTQIA+ community or a strong ally with a good sense of humour, you’ll absolutely love it.
The story follows Jack Trott (Keanu Adolphus Johnson), a poor, gay farm boy stuck in the quaint Yorkshire village of Upper Bottom, dreaming of a life beyond his dilapidated dairy farm. While Jack is perfectly charming as the protagonist, the real stars of the show are the supporting cast. Chris Lane as Dale, the “friendly fairy,” is a scene-stealer, delivering campy one-liners with mischievous glee and sprinkling a little extra magic over every moment. Matthew Baldwin’s Dame Dolly Trott is an unstoppable force of comedy, dazzling the audience with razor-sharp wit, improvised one liners, a never-ending stream of innuendos, and some of the most jaw-dropping quick costume changes you’ll ever see – some performed onstage in an instant!
Jordan Stamatiadis as Lady Fleshcreep is deliciously villainous, dripping with lascivious glee in every scene – the audience had so much fun shouting “booooo” at her every entrance, while Laura Anna-Mead as Simple Simone brings chaotic energy and hilarity to the stage. Joe Grundy as the sexy Reverend Tim, Jack’s love interest, was a lot of fun and a wonderful twist on the traditional panto romance. The rest of the ensemble were marvellous too, playing diverse characters like Claudia the Cow, Alice – Simone’s Love Interest (Caitlin Swanton), the magic harp – waiting and waiting for someone to give her a good plucking, and the magical bagpipes – will grant your wish in exchange for a really good blow on his pipe!
The songs, written by Jon Bradfield, are equal parts catchy and cheeky, perfectly complementing the campy, irreverent vibe of the show. Carole Todd’s choreography was, at times, delightfully simple, perfectly matching the cheeky charm of the panto. But in scenes like the opening of the village fair, the entire cast threw themselves in with gusto, delivering energetic and hilariously over-the-top moves that brought the stage to life. Each number was infused with the kind of infectious joy and mischief that had the audience grinning from ear to ear.
David Shields’ set design strikes the perfect balance between traditional panto charm and clever creativity. Beautifully painted backdrops (with plenty of hidden jokes and not so hidden phallic shapes) and inventive flats transport us to Upper Bottom and beyond, bringing a touch of nostalgia while keeping things fresh and fun, and filthy. It’s classic panto scenery with a bit of cheeky humour thrown in and done to perfection.
Of course, all the panto traditions you know and love are here, albeit with a decidedly adult and queer twist. There’s a singalong (featuring lyrics that would make your gran blush), sweets thrown into the audience by Dame Dolly, and plenty of audience interaction. That said, one element that could use some tightening up is the call-and-response segments. The first one, featuring Dame Dolly hunting a naughty beaver (yes, it’s panto, the jokes aren’t subtle), was obviously intended to be overly elaborate, with the audience yelling “Dolly, it’s cumming round the back!” or something like that, but subsequent bits – like Simone’s “Hiya Gang” followed by the audience’s intended “How Do Simone” – didn’t quite land, as the crowd struggled to remember what to say each time. Later, Dale and Jack entered, seemingly expecting responses that hadn’t been set up at all, leading to a bit of chaos. Hopefully, these moments will be streamlined as the run continues.
Keanu Adolphus Johnson may not be the standout performer in this hilarious show, but he’s undeniably pretty, perfectly charming, and does alright alongside the scene-stealing antics of Lane and Baldwin – and he really is very pretty!
Jack and the Beanstalk: What a Whopper! is a must-see for anyone looking for a gloriously camp, laugh-out-loud night out. It’s filthy, funny, and fabulous – a panto for the grown-ups and a joyful celebration of queerness and comedy. Just make sure to leave the kids at home!
Catch the show until 11th Jan at the Charing Cross Theatre, London.
Book tickets at www.jackpanto.com
Words by Nick Barr
Photography Steve Gregson
