How Do You Spot a Gentleman?

If you’re itching to get some pointers on the gentlemanly ways, the guys, or rather, the men, to model your behavior from might not be far away.

Trends and ideas change, but the notion that a man should aspire to become a gentleman remains constant.

That said, how do you begin looking for modern gentlemen? Here are some things that make a man worthy of this much-lauded status.

What Defines a Gentleman?

You can’t actually define the term gentleman definitively. However, there are certain traits that one should strive to embody to be deserving of the title. Here’s what we believe are the most important ones:

1. Never Speaks Ill of Other People

One thing about a gentleman is that you would never find him gossiping or spreading rumors about someone. If he knows something, he’ll simply be mum about it even without being told to. This is especially the case if that “something” could be detrimental to another party. Your secrets are definitely safe with this guy.

2. Works Hard for Something He Knows Is Worth It

You can always count on a gentleman to know the value of hard work. Free rides and shortcuts don’t exist in this man’s world. For these men, achievements and luxuries are things you toil night and day for. This way, they would taste even sweeter when they come. A man of refinement is well aware that one can only get what he is willing to give.

3. Knows How To Dance

No one expects a gentleman to just stare at someone’s hand as they ask him to dance. In fact, a gentleman shouldn’t have to be offered in the first place, as he should be the one making the offering. He should know how to dance and lead a dance.

That said, dancing does have its limits where these men are concerned. A dashing, debonair gentleman isn’t someone people want to see break dancing at a wedding reception. Having good enough footwork to lead your partner confidently should suffice.

4. Always Responds to RSVPs

Gentlemen are known for their prompt replies, and they never ever leave their loved ones hanging. A vague answer simply won’t do. You need to be clear about whether or not you can attend an event. That’s because these things are planned, and your attendance or absence may factor into the budget and other aspects.

Always be courteous enough to give a clear response. And if you do make it to the party, be sure to show the crowd what being a gentleman really is.

5. Helps People With Their Baggage

This is the polite thing to expect from anyone capable, which gentlemen definitely are. A gentleman stops and helps anyone struggling with their baggage. Whether it’s at an airport, a bus station, or a train station, he stops whatever he’s going to be of assistance.

Of course, a good gentleman should politely ask the person first if they are in need of assistance. If you get a “no” despite witnessing the obvious struggle, it shouldn’t hurt to be on your way.

6. Knows Where the Line Is Between Confidence and Arrogance

Overconfidence equates to arrogance. It is when one doesn’t even consider that things won’t go his way. Confidence means being sure of yourself but being humble about it at the same time.

For example, when you enter a contest. You know there’s a possibility of losing, but you’re confident you’ll do a good job regardless. On the contrary, arrogance doesn’t consider how others may have worked as hard or harder than you and expects a victory every single time.

7. Is Open-Minded

A gentleman doesn’t judge, even if it’s an action that doesn’t align with his views of the world. Instead, he listens and sees where others are coming from. He is always open to learning and won’t shut out ideas that go against his own. With the exception of what is universally moral, this approach should apply across the board.

8. Doesn’t Lie

We all lie, but a gentleman is not one to make a habit of it. He will never lie if he can help it. Then again, your sister might ask what you think of her recent visit to the hair salon, and maybe fibbing can be excused this one time. Her hair has definitely seen better days. Tell her it looks amazing, and walk away with a smile.

Be a Genuine Gentleman

Being a gentleman isn’t a public pretense. It’s something that comes either second nature to a man or something he aspires to become because it’s a good thing.

Whatever the case, you can’t fake being a man of refinement. People will eventually see through you if you do and lose their admiration. Then again, don’t become a gentleman because you want to be admired; do it because it’s how you genuinely want to live your life.