When it comes to relationship dynamics, few are as unique as that of a financial domination (findom) relationship. Join a findom site, and you’ll quickly be surprised at just how unique the language appears. Compared to what you would see on a usual dating site, it’s like a different reality!
To the untrained eye, though, findom relationships can seem a lot closer to a traditional relationship than, say, a BDSM dominatrix-sub relationship. Is that the case? Hmm, not really. If you want to get a better idea of the difference between findom and traditional relationship, read on – we’ll explain it in easy-to-grasp terms.
What Makes Findom So Different From Traditional Relationship?
A traditional relationship experience is about a shared connection – physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. It’s about being with someone because you love them, want them in your life, and most likely have a shared physical connection. You date someone in a traditional sense because you want them. There’s usually a desire to have them sexually, as well; with findom, that is not the case!
- The main difference here is that, in a findom relationship, there is no physical connection (usually)
- Most of the time, findom relationships are entirely remote; it’s unlikely that a findomme and paypig would ever meet in person
A Paypig? A Findomme? Huh!?
You know how in a traditional dating relationship, people have names for each other? You might refer to your partner as bubby, or babe, or whatever little names you have for one another? Well, this is kind of like that!
- A paypig is the submissive partner in a findom relationship. Usually male, they are the ones who are willing to give up their money in exchange for erotic pleasure through humiliation
- A findomme is the dominant partner. Usually female, they are the ones who take the money from the paypig and spend it in ways they demand; they derive control from this dynamic
So, There’s No Equal Partnership Here?
Oh heavens no, this is the total opposite. In a traditional relationship, the ideal is that both partners are just that – partners. Equal say. You work together to solve problems. You are there for one another emotionally, physically, and financially. In a findom relationship, there’s a clear boss and a subordinate.
The boss, the findomme, has full say. They tell the paypig what to spend their money on. They have total control; the paypig might even have to message them for permission to spend their money on food. That’s a level of control and dominance that the paypig almost never experiences elsewhere in life.
The findomme has total control and say over everything that goes on financially. They might demand that the paypig buys them something, or in some cases, they just straight up have financial access to spend as they see fit.
Why Would A Paypig Enjoy This, Though?
It’s hard to understand, especially if you aren’t someone who is generally quite wealthy. That said, let’s try to explain:
- Most wealthy people are financially successful because they are in a position of power, right?
- In work, they are usually the decision maker – they have full control over everything happening
- They might be in total control of a workplace budget, or for the company’s overall expenditure
- That comes with a huge amount of power, responsibility, and pressure – it’s a lot to handle
- So, paypigs enjoy this dynamic because, for once in their day, they have NO financial control
- They no longer have the proverbial gavel to smack on the table to agree or deny spending
- That’s humiliating, especially as most paypigs are in positions of power and authority
- Being able to give up that authority and power, relinquishing control, is intoxicating
What Does The Paypig Get Back, Though? Sex?
No, not usually – it’s rare for findommes to be sexually engaged with a paypig. In fact, it’s rare that they even meet. Sure, they might buy themselves something like lingerie – they might then ‘reward’ their paypig with a view of them dressed in what they just bought.
Most of the time, though, the reward is humiliation. The loss of control over spending and control over money. They get a sense of gratification in knowing that, for once, they aren’t the decision maker. It’s a release from the perpetual pressure of what is usually expected of someone in a high-stakes profession.
They also get a kick out of serving the needs of their findomme. They might like how the findomme looks, or how they talk to them, or – in many cases – the fact they aren’t being spoken to with respect. In their day-to-day working lives, most paypigs are used to people treating them like they are royalty.
Findom Relationships Swap The Dynamic Completely
Being in a dynamic where they get spoken to like any other schmuck is an exciting swap around of their usual life dynamics. That exchange of power can be liberating and a chance to escape from the usual dynamic. Being in charge and being the one who gets to say yes or no isn’t always easy, after all!
So, your average findom relationship is about swapping power to the hands of someone else who isn’t in the paypig’s physical life. It’s about losing control, being the one to be humiliated instead of being the one humiliating for a change. If you find that concept exciting, try it out.
Be warned, though; findommes expect you to do as you are told, even if it’s inconvenient. Otherwise, be prepared to pay tribute and penalties that will really hurt your bank balance. If this kind of thing excites you, though, there are many great choices for a findom site you can join.
Try it out – losing control and, for once, not being the #1 can be a very liberating experience!
