When I first heard Bella Kay’s My Reckless Abandon, I had to double-check whether it was, in fact, a debut. It listens further along in the work of an artist than that, and while Kay is already no stranger to writing hits (her first single, ‘The Sick’, peaked at 33 on the UK singles chart), I was still impressed. It’s lyrically complex, sonically cohesive, and just experimental enough to keep you on your toes

She’s only 20 years old, and it’s perhaps the maturity that comes with making it out of your teenage years while still carrying the bruises of that time that makes her bold enough to be this vulnerable in her lyrics. As her TikTok comments put it, it feels as though she’s pulled out an old diary of every teenage girl and turned it into song.

Talking to her, it’s her self-assuredness that comes across the most. She sees her process and her songwriting as part of who she is, and she’s unashamed of it. She looks back at her sadder teenage years without dismissing the feelings, and she’s clear-eyed about the stepping stones needed to get where she wants to be, which is exactly what she did to bridge the gap between her EPs and this record. It’s exciting talking to someone just on the edge of what is sure to be chart-topping popularity.

In conversation with 1883 Magazine, Bella Kay discusses her songwriting process, the collaborators who helped shape her new record, the coming-of-age themes that run through it and more. 

Congratulations on the album, it’s very good. I want to start at the beginning. What’s the process of writing a song? Do you have a notes app? Do you have a journal that you pick ideas from? 

It’s definitely different depending on the song, but typically I’ll take my guitar and start writing on that. Sometimes I like to think of things in the car, some of the craziest lines I’ve ever written happened while I was just driving. I’ll think of something and write it down in my notes app, then find it later, pick up my guitar, and put it into a song. Once I have a good chorus or verse, I’ll usually take it into the studio and finish it up with one of my collaborators.

When I was listening to it, the imagery was exactly like driving a car in a coming-of-age film. That’s how I would describe the album. How would you describe it to someone? 

I would 100% agree with you. I’ve always said that the best time to listen to my music is at night or at dusk in the car,, it’s the perfect ambiance for the album. I swear, it sounds ten times better in that environment. The music I like to make is music that sounds good when you’re in the car.

You started out just with a guitar, and you went into a studio for the first time not that long ago.  What’s your favorite thing that you’ve learned about sound while learning how to compose?

I’ve learned a lot — what these different sounds mean, how they feel, and how they come across. Bass in hip-hop or trap songs sounds different than the bass in my songs, because I don’t want to do something that’s too much.

It’s been cool learning the terms and figuring out what the different sounds mean to me. I’ve become a big lover of kick and different kinds of drums and bass, bass is my favorite thing in the whole wide world. It’s also been fun playing around with different instruments. I love a synth moment, and I’m a huge piano girl, so I’m excited for this because I haven’t actually put out a piano song yet. It’s been really cool discovering different things. 

Yeah, you have a couple of different songs for the piano in there that are heartbreaking.

Yeah, we’re finally getting into the piano of it all.

What’s your process for deciding the production route of a song? What makes marrow orchestral, but Karaoke dreamy and techy? How do you choose what sound accompanies the lyrics?

Honestly, it’s never a thing of ‘let me do an orchestral piano song today.’ I’ll bring in a song that I feel has a certain vibe, then lean on my collaborators to take it where they think it should go, and I’ll have notes based on what I hear. I’m not thinking it has to match something, it’s more like, ‘I think this sounds really good, let’s do that.’

I’ve read about the interesting ways in which you’ve found your voice with your collaborators. Can you talk a little bit about what that process is like? 

I’ve worked with three amazing producers on this album. The executive producer, Alexis Kesselman, is like the other half of my brain. She’s so sweet and so funny, and I love working with her because I can come in and be fully me, she just gets it. She’s like my big sister. She’s really talented, she basically finishes my sentences. I feel like you can’t tell the difference between a line I write and a line she writes, which is insane and amazing. I’m so glad we found each other, because this album wouldn’t be possible without her. She’s woven into every part of it. 

Then I got to work with Alexander Glantz. He’s really cool, he came in more toward the end of the album. He did marrow and Promise?, and it was cool to bring him in at the end and have all these collaborators in one pot. And Thomas Sarosa, who I did a song with. He’s the funniest guy in the world and has a really cool ear. It was awesome working with him.

If you could highlight one lyric from the album that you’re really proud of, what would it be?

I really love the lyric “I’m loyal to the bone, but maybe marrow isn’t good enough”. That’s one of my favorite lines.

Can you talk about your own coming-of-age? There’s some very strong lyrics in this album about growing up. What parts of your life do you think shape your artistry today?

When I was coming up, it felt like everything was the end of the world, and it obviously wasn’t. But it’s something you have to feel, you have a lot of emotions, and I think you have to harness that and press into it. I’m really grateful because I’m not as sad as I used to be, but sometimes I still have those days, and it’s really sweet and cool to tap into that version of myself.

You released two EPs while making this, the tracklists match in some of it, but what was important about stepping away and creating something different or creating a pocket of the album first? 

A Couple Minutes Out is different to Are You Mad at Me? because all of the songs in the second one are in the album. I’d had my debut EP, Sick to My Stomach, and I was in the process of making this record, and I was like, ‘I can’t go from this to that, it doesn’t make sense.’ So I needed to put out a project that bridged the gap,more like stairs than a crazy jump, and that was truly the purpose of A Couple Minutes Out. I’m grateful people really connected with it. 

With Are You Mad at Me?, we were putting out singles alongside the album, and I wanted another stepping stone. There are some crazy songs on this album, so we needed to push the bar and show people that I make this kind of music too.

Do you think about world-building in your album? Like, is that what it was? Do you think that you felt like you needed something else in order to build the new world?

Yeah, at least sonically. I was always trying to get closer to that rugged, rough, cool energy that I feel My Reckless Abandon has, but it was less about world-building stylistically. A Couple Minutes Out was more, ‘okay, sonically, I want to get you guys ready and let you know this can expand beyond what you’ve heard me do before.’ But yeah, I think it’s always world-building in some sense.

On that, what is the process of choosing the order of the tracks? Are you always thinking about it? 

Tracklist order is the most important thing to me. It was honestly such a hassle to get My Reckless Abandon together.  I had an original tracklist, and I really hate when people tell me what to do, but my team didn’t feel it was right. And they were right. We went back in, and I realized we’d actually made a story out of the album, which I didn’t even know was there. Originally marrow was at the top, which makes no sense, I like the song ten times better now because of where it is now. It was cool to figure out. 

Tracklisting is one of my favorite parts. It’s intense and a lot, but it’s super fun when it comes together.

Do you have any artists that you would compare yourself to? Or that inspires you most? 

Scary question. I don’t know if I’d compare myself to anybody, there are artists I look up to, but no one where I’m like, ‘Yeah, I’m like them.’ I really look up to Rihanna; I love the way she uses her voice. I love Olivia Rodrigo’s songwriting, I think she’s insane. I also love Lizzy McAlpine. Songwriting-wise, she’s just a beast. Those are probably my top girls for sure.

Your songs are very focused on storytelling. You have some starting lyrics that are very specific in the way you want to tell a story, they’re quite shocking sometimes (“I hope your daddy’s done hatin’ you”  or “I like being used, it means I have a purpose”), how do you choose what lyric starts a song? 

I love to be crazy. I like to say the craziest thing, the first thing you can say, because I like to hook a reader in – well, a listener. When you read a book and you read the first line and you’re like, “What?” it makes you keep reading it. So I like to do that with songs. A crazy first line makes you listen to what I have to say next.

You sound like an artist that has kind of had no choice but to become an artist. You nearly went to law. You had other ideas. What called you to music?

I wish I could put a word to it, but it was always something I felt very connected to, something I always loved, and had an insanely deep passion for. It’s just always felt very aligned with who I am, like what I was meant to do. It felt wrong not to do it.

Did you always know you wanted to be a writer of some sort? Was poetry part of it or was it always music? 

I always loved writing, but I always also loved music. So they were growing together, and then it just became songwriting, which is really amazing and beautiful. I’d always really loved them both, but yeah, When I was younger, I would just write like stories. I always think it’s cool to convey something with words.

You have a lot of touring going on, you’ve already done live shows this year. You’re doing a tour later in the year, and you’re also opening for Noah Kahn, and then you’re opening for Gracie Abrams. What do you love about live music?

It’s been amazing this past year being able to go out and tour because I’ve really kind of gotten to go to more concerts than ever, and to be backstage at concerts and see and hear this different aspect of the world. I think there’s nothing kind of quite like it. You get to see the artist in their truest form. When they are fully presented on stage to you and they present a show exactly how they want it to be presented, you get to see how they have always wanted to be expressed and the way that they feel. I think it’s the coolest way that you can hear a song because it’s the most real.

What song are you most excited to do live?

I’m excited to do Blur live. I literally can’t wait. I’ve also loved getting to do Say It Say live because it’s sick live, it’s really fun. 

Do you think you’re writing for and about the girl you are, the girl you were, or the girl you hope to be? 

Amazing question, because honestly, I think it’s all of them. Some of these songs I wrote with the intention of the girl I want to be, the life I want to have. A Couple Minutes Out was very much who I was at that time. But then I’d made these songs where I was like, ‘I’m not this yet, but I really want to be, so I need to take steps.’ As time went on, I feel like a lot of the songs on the album are who I am right now, and I actually grew into them. At this point, all of them feel like me, this is who I am. But that wasn’t always the case, if that makes sense.

So do you feel like you’re processing your feelings through your songs? Or do you think you process them before you write them? 

It depends. Because sometimes the thing that I will be writing about will have just happened yesterday, and it’s still fresh, and some of the best lyrics come from that. But sometimes it’s something that happened to me months ago, and I’m like, ‘All right, let me write about it.’ It’s kind of a whirlwind. I just feel it, then pick up my guitar and bleed it out into the guitar. It’s basically my diary.

Thank you so much for your time, Bella. Congratulations on the album again, it’s great.

Thanks, Natalia!

Listen to My Reckless Abandon below.

Interview Natalia Albin