How to Keep Your Sex Life Healthy in Marriage
The idea behind maintaining a healthy sex life throughout the time span of a marriage is one that, if acted upon correctly, can lend for the happiest of relationships while reaping many rewards that come with this intimacy.
But when the sex life of a marriage dwindles or fades, becoming far from what could be considered ‘healthy’, there arises consequences that are both powerful in negative nature and fueled by the void of disconnection.
It may seem pretty self-explanatory then that the best option throughout a marriage is to ensure with a dedication that this delicate aspect of love is acted upon accordingly, yet unfortunately this oftentimes is thrown in the backburner of necessities.
The question of how to keep your sex life healthy in marriage can indeed appear daunting, but by taking a few of these tips and adjusting them according to yourself and your partner, you can instead create an aura behind the answers that is fun, sensual, erotic, and most of all something that you pursue with newfound passion!
Begin With Conversation
Something that seems so apparent is actually one of the keystone reasons as to why a lot of couples have a hard time with their sex life, as so many people do not talk about sex. Maintaining consistent conversation behind sex and sexual desires acts as such a powerful means of keeping your sex curated to exactly your desires as a couple.
When in a marriage, you are going to spend a lot of time together. You are going to grow as a family, but as equally as important you are going to grow as individuals. This means discovering things about yourself that only time will allow you to uncover, which may also result in forming new ideas or inclinations surrounding sex.
And you must communicate these desires accordingly, or else forms of resentment and sexual frustration will manifest!
By closing doors to communication and keeping the characteristics of one’s sexuality to his/herself, the result of such is never positive, and this negativity can domino far into your sex life as a whole.
Create a consistent calendar of making sure to specifically talk about your sex to your partner.
This can be once a month or once a year, a thirty-minute chat, or a three-hour endeavor. The choice is up to you!
If you purposefully set aside this time, you will begin to feel a heck of a lot more comfortable talking about this subject in general, as it will become something that you get used to, and you will ensure that as you grow as a person you have the time, capability, and understanding from your partner to voice your inner feelings.
We change as people, this is inevitable, so to help you get started here are a few simple questions that can spark the inspiration to deeper conversation:
- Are you happy with how many times we have sex? If not, what can we do to change this together?
- Is our sex the way you want it to be? Is there anything new that you have been wanting to try?
- Do you have enough time for self-love (masturbation)?
- What can we do to add a little spice to our bedroom fun? Are you interested in adding sex toys into our sex life?
You get the idea, just pinpoint the ideals around sex that mean the most and affect you the most and just start talking about it. This way, you can work together to address the things that need addressing, furthering to build your intimacy and trust as a couple, and no matter how long you are together you will always be able to adjust your personal needs accordingly.
Create a Calender for Sex
We won’t spend much time on this, as it is a fairly well-known idea behind sex life within a marriage to create a calendar for your intimacy, but the truth is that the importance of this is so prominent that it is essential to at least mention again!
There is nothing silly or weird about setting aside specific days or time frames for you and your partner to have sex, and any misconception that this takes away from the intimacy or spontaneity of sex is entirely not true!
In fact, by setting aside specific times for sex, this can instead enhance intimacy and spontaneity, as having more sex actually further raises your libido, so don’t be surprised if you’re planned out time leads to more random occasions!
But seriously, life is hard. And being a responsible adult, especially when parenthood is involved, is really dang hard. With so many responsibilities to juggle, sometimes you simply have to plan your sex time. You might need to book a babysitter, you might need to make sure you are absolutely not going to work late.
Whatever it is, you know your life best, so as part of the consistent conversation around sex, use this talking time to work together to create a calendar around your intercourse.
This will literally ensure that everyone is satisfied and that the issue of not feeling like you do not have enough sex is entirely thrown out the window.
Always Keep an Open Mind and Work Together
You must accept the fact that in a marriage there are going to be sexual characteristics about each other that arise that you may not necessarily view with the same perspective. The key here is to maintain a complete understanding of these discoveries, and know that because you are married it is your job to help your partner delve into these fantasies, kinks, or other desires.
Instead of letting any of them make you feel weird, talk about them with your partner while keeping an entirely open mind. Hear out exactly why they feel they have these wishes and then grow in confidence as you are lucky enough to be the one person that gets to try out these new things with your partner!
And of course, if these desires are your own, then always appreciate if your other half is willing to experiment on new things with you with an open mind. Chances are, if you both do this, you will end up learning a lot more about yourself and exactly what turns you on that otherwise may have gone completely unknown.
No good ever comes from shutting anything down. The negativity that will arise with approaching any of your partner’s yearnings in a manner that is hurtful or degrading will result in resentment and fear of exploration that will never allow for the healthiest of sex life.
So remember, keep your mind always open and work with your partner through their discoveries so that you are both entirely fulfilled with your sex!
The Use of Sex Toys
Sex toys are an amazing way to add a little spice to your intercourse and to unravel orgasms of a goosebump instilling intensity never before felt. When used together, sex toys can provide both of you with sensations otherwise not attainable.
Fingers can’t vibrate at 10 different speeds now, can they?
And that is why it is also important to toss out any stigma that sex toys act as a form of ‘replacement’ within a relationship. They absolutely do not, and instead, they provide you with a means to feel things that a human just cannot provide. With the explosion in new designs out there, you can find dildos which come in shapes and textures that will provide experiences you couldn’t have elsewhere.
So when you intertwine the intimacy, closeness, and warmth of the human touch with the riveting world of sex toys, you are inevitably going to up your sex game into new realms of passion.
And for a quick tip, always use only the best sex toys, as your sex deserves to be treated with the luxury and quality that you and your body deserve. Toys play an important part in your sex life, and they often go inside of you, so their material and production really does matter for safety, as does their design!
Reduce Life Stress
Although maintaining a healthy sex life starts with the sex itself, you must also zoom out and into other life reasons that may result in a lower libido and a dying passion.
Sometimes it has nothing to do with your partner or an issue with intimacy. Stress is one of the most common and notable causes of an unhealthy sex life, and stress can greatly lower your libido.
Bur right on the opposite end of that spectrum, sex is actually an extremely well-known stress reducer and can even combat mental ailments like depression and anxiety!
If you can reduce your stress levels in life through means completely unrelated to sex, such as with herbs, yoga, or meditation; then you will surely see an uptick in sexual encounters with your partner.
And then, this uptick will dominio upon itself as a chain reaction develops. You lower your stress so you have more sex, and then your sex lowers your stress levels even further, and wallah!
Your sex life is better and you are simply that much happier.
Also important is to never think about stressors during intercourse. If you are lucky enough to be having sex, use this time as a way to forget and completely let go. This will allow you to become closer to your partner and also as a means of relief from the things in life that really do not matter as much as a really, really good orgasm does.
Jane is a conceptual copywriter at Wondercopy. She is a passionate blogger and fond of writing various industry topics, she also wrote about love and relationships to help thousands of couples jumpstart their love life.